Holiday Grief and Loss: Surviving the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The holiday season is here with traditions and festivities abound.  The hustle and bustle can make this time of year extremely difficult for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, a long-term relationship, or a beloved pet.  How can people who are grieving find peace and comfort while the world around them seems so merry and bright?  Here are a few tips that can help:

• Allow yourself to grieve your loss in a way that's meaning for you.  Don't force yourself to do things because you feel you "should". Perhaps you can create a new tradition that's meaningful and cathartic for you.  Give yourself the time, space, and compassion that you need during this challenging time. 
• Surround yourself with caring friends and relatives who are supportive and nonjudgemental.  Talk about your loss or play a game of scrabble in silence.  Find those companions who support your journey without expectation.  
• Connect with a cause that resonates with you.  Turn your hurts into a blessing by volunteering your time, skills or resources to a charitable project in your community.  Projecting your grief into a positive outlet can be meaningful and life changing...for you and the beneficiaries alike.  
• Focus on self care.  Do not overextend yourself and be sure make your health an wellbeing a priority.  Stress less, get enough sleep, and enjoy party fare in moderation.  Allow yourself to enjoy time spent with special people in your life.  
• Let go of the guilt.  However you decide to spend this holiday, accept that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.  You may live, laugh, cry, or disconnect.  It's OK. This is your journey.  You must go through it to get through it.  

If you are having difficulty with a recent loss and are not able to move through your grief in a healthy way, please contact the Counseling House for an appointment or to set up a time to speak with our grief specialist.  May you have a blessed holiday and prosperous New Year.

By Jennifer Melnick Carota, MS, LPC, NCC

Owner, Director

The Counseling House

Holidays, Children, and Stress...Oh My!

For most children and adolescents, the holiday season is filled with fun, excitement, and happiness. Children often look forward to a break from school, holiday decorations, special foods, and family traditions. It can be hard to imagine the holidays producing stress and anxiety in children and adolescents, however this can happen with children and adolescents who have experienced parental divorce/separation or the loss of a loved one. The holidays are often a reminder of change, transitions, confusion, and at times difficult memories. Below are some tips for helping children manage the stress that accompanies the holiday season.

Talk with your children ahead of time about plans and other events while allowing them to have a voice in some of the planning process. This can reduce stress and anxiety around uncertainty and hectic schedules.

Avoid scheduling too many activities for you and your children. Children can begin to feel overwhelmed with too many activities, so try to prioritize events.

Plan and allow for relaxation time for your children such as listening to music, spending some time in a quiet room, reading, or other soothing activities.

Make sure your kids get plenty of sleep. A good night’s sleep can lower stress and irritability.

Avoid making promises you can’t follow through with and do not have control of – for instance promising that a parent or significant family member will call or come for a visit.

Avoid compensating for the other parent by buying expensive gifts. Children benefit from spending time with you, your attention, and reassurance.

Take care of yourself. You need to be at your best to effectively parent your children. Try to avoid over scheduling yourself and practice forms of self care to minimize your stress. Children pick up on their parents’ stress levels and will model your ability to use (or lack thereof) coping skills.

The Counseling House is wishing you and your family a wonderful holiday season!  For more information about our services or to make an appointment, please visit the Counseling House website or contact us at 724-929-3435.

By Elizabeth Jehn, MA, LMFT